NASH

Monday, September 25, 2006; Comments

hey ppl fasting month alr and

for the first time i wanna do it seriously cos my aunt seem to want to do it seriously

then first day of fasting she say she has her period...
21 cycle she said

so its no point

i tell myself ...i look up to her and she gives excuses asfter i really believe in her

i told myself not to get angry that she has asked me not to go for training at all during the fasting month cos she wans me home to eat dinner with family and pray ....cos she will do exactly the same...

so yeah...we all try our best to follow the footsteps of our dad...(to me she is like my dad) and we try to do better than our dad...surpass them in everything...

but what the hell...i should have known ...freaking dissapointed...

HELLO AUNT! JUS COS U HAVE MONEY AND THE WHOLE FAMILY DEPENDS ON UR FREAKING WEALTH THAT DOES NOT MEAN U CONTROL AND RULE EVERYTHING!!

u are freaking unreasonable!!! why !
money is neutral..its what human do with it that turns it into evil or good..so wad if u say to ppl u support the family when u actually use it also to threaten me!

to get ur way!!!
i listen to u
every single thing u ask me to do !!!
so wad if u reward me with materials@!!!
so wad!!!
i would have done wad u told me to w/o all that
and u noe why
cos i look up to you
but now

it all shows
u say my true colors have shown!
it is you who have not yet realise ur true colors!!
u think ur king!!
u think u rule!!!
and everything has to go ur way

mother kept queit
no matter when u told her recently of wad u are
u noe why!!!
cos she noes she cannot prevent u from it
cos she noes u rule!!!!
not cos she is ok with it!!!

but when i told the whole family wad i am!!
they did not agree with it
but its cos of my determination
and then they realise they cannot do anything
not cos of threat using money!!! like u!!!
u only dare to tell them wad u are when u are 39

i told them when i was even not 18 yet!!!
i dun even have the power of money

that is the difference between us
i love u far everything u are
but i hate only one thing

how u let money
control u

stop it !! one day it will be too late to realise it
the very close one to you will jus walk away one day
dun say i have not warn u

it seems like u love to be in control
u love power
damn now u have tot me one thing

power and money is nth
it destroys one person
even if the person is good as u

sigh u dissapoint
me

-i cried silently ...when i felt like screaming back at you. i stop
-cos i noe nth will ever change-