NASH

Friday, June 15, 2007; Comments

LOST

i'm lost
don't know what i am gg to do now
i've finished poly
and now working is the only answer for now

i don't have any idea what i wanna be
i don't have any idea what i am gg to be
i don't know what i want

and i am starting to think life is a crap

i watch the matrix all three of them

and i tot maybe what if this life we are leading are all crap'
computer programmed for us
our brain and tots and action have all been programmed

we are actually living for nth

ok i'm getting a lil carried away
so what if its true .... i dun even wan to be like NEO
flying in the sky and dodge bulltes or stop them
i guess what i think is right about the movie is when they say we all have a choice

i guess its true.... we all have a choice to live in a boring life where u spend ur pay in the first week
or have a stagnant life with no ups or down

forget about pretence to be happy .... come on ppl!
we all know that we are pretending to be happy
and why is that so!?

well iits cos life is too short to be all angry and life is too short to go asking WHY!!! ALL THE FREAKING TIME

so lets stop asking qns
and just believe that life has meaning
and we made the choice to be happy (or pretend to be)

as for me i think right now ... i'm talking all crap
why cos i read too many of ppl livejournals and blogs
and reading about other ppl's live make u think about ur own

i guess for me i'm just scared of change
like cancer (crab) we hide in our shell (hermit crab )
i guesss i'm a hermit crab..i hide when there is change

and right now i'm gg thru a big change from being a student
to completely a working adult and i took a really big responsibility job role
why !? i dunno
and it requires me to be everything that is not me!
how the fuck am i gg to change to all that !!!
i HATE THIS!! but i know somehow or another
i'll go thru all this just fine

how? oh well i live my life a day at a time
i dun care how many days i have yet left to live...
all i care is the day that i'm living and living it (not to the fullest cos if u live everyday too the fullest at the end of the day ur gg to be drained out ) so i'm gg to live my life the way i like it to be

all i know is that meeting my baby SUNSHINE is the best thing ever happen to me...
creates more spice in my life...
damn it ... all i know is that my life till today ever since i met her never been a dreadful no purpose day ...

at least i know i'll be hugging her or she feeding me from her bare hands ...
that small moments make my day fullest alr
hah

oh wtf
no matter how lost i am rite now
not knowing how i'm gg to cope in a new working environment
or what i am gg to do with my life...
all i know is that i have my baby sunshine to look forward too

i live my life by the day

first i'll save money to repair aircon
second save to buy new bigger bed

hmmm somehow my focus is always in the bed and my room lately
i wanna make my room look new
even refurnish some parts and putting in tv of desktop in my room
oh wells

ROOM first
then other stuff like maybe nicer phone for me and her
then liciense car n bike
then either ask my aunt to migrate and give me her car and house
or buy bike for transport sake

sigh GILERA? maybe ....i dunno

too many things

i wonder if i gg back to studying
i wan to get degree before turning 25 or 30 ?

i dunno sigh!!!!

oh fuck lost....nvm